WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015: The Bushwhackers

bushwackers

The Bushwhackers

Class of 2015

Ridiculous Tag Team, Licking Experts

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Hall of Fame Rating

2 out of 10

Undeserving

 When one thinks about the most memorable tag teams in the history of wrestling, there are many names that come to mind: The Road Warriors, The Midnight Express, Doom, The Steiner Brothers, Harlem Heat, The Dudley Boys, Demolition, The British Bulldogs, The Wild Samoans, The Blackjacks, Edge & Christian and many many more. One name which is NOT on that list is our newest inductees this week. Ladies and Gentlemen, here come WWE Hall of Famers the Bushwhackers!

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What the hell is the WWE thinking? Its not like the WWE Hall of Fame is the first Hall of Fame in the history of the world. Hall of Fames are not uncommon. Every sport has one. Television has one. Every university and college in the history of the world has one. What does each of those Halls of Fame have in common? They induct the best in their business. Induction is generally based on understood criterion and/or voted upon by both the organizers and fans of the Hall of Fame. WWE on that other hand, is totally and completely up to the whims of one man….

 

vincestar

This cocky son of a bitch

And a bunch of goobers….

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The WWE Writing Staff as Represented By the “Amazing” Staff of Mork and Mindy..

What is the logical explanation for this disjointed mess? Take a look at 2013 and 2014. Each class was headlined by a true superstar. Both Bruno and Warrior not only were the epitome of the word headliner; they were also long overdue. Randy Savage fits this criteria too. The difference this year is that Savage is surrounded by such poor compadres.  Three inductees (Rikishi, Arnold and the Bushwhackers) are not only weak but their presence hurts the overall presentation. And the Bushwhackers have to be the worst of the worst this year. In fact ,The Bushwhackers are the worst of the worst of almost any year. This is Ko Ko B. Ware level of bad.

KoKo B. Ware, making The Hall of Fame look bad since 2009

KoKo B. Ware:  Making The Hall of Fame look bad since 2009

Almost no one will disagree that The Bushwhackers would not be their first choice for induction. Worthy teams like Demolition, The Dudleys and The British Bulldogs stand still waiting for the call.  I’d like to mention briefly that The Bushwhackers did have many years as a hated heel team The Sheepherders. The Sheepherders were much better than the Bushwhackers, During the induction video , the Sheepherders are also mentioned briefly (to showcase the 26 Tag Team titles the Sheepherders won all around the world), but do not fool yourself in believing that this is who the WWE is inducting. They are inducting the Bushwhackers. Just watch this induction video. Look how silly and crazy the Bushwhackers are?!

You still don’t believe that this is a ridiculous induction? Fine. Let’s look at the top 5 accomplishments of the newest Hall of Famers: The Bushwhackers in WWE.

5. Defeating the Rougeaus at Wrestlemania 5.

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The Bushwhackers attained their greatest victory right at the beginning of their WWF run. In 1989 at Wrestlemania, Luke and Butch defeated Jacques and Raymond, the WWF World Tag…..wait nope. That’s not right. The Bushwhackers defeated C level heel tag team, the Rougeaus. This means that the Bushwhackers were the C level face tag team…at their peak.

Bushwhacker feuds were few and far between. They were much more likely to fight jobbers on Superstars or…

lick people…

While horrifying children

While horrifying children

and become the butt of jokes in important matches

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The Bushwhackers barely ever stepped foot anywhere near a championship, a rivalry or anything which makes wrestling great. Except that one time where they…

4. Failed to Defend Andre the Giant

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Andre isn’t Happy

In 1992, a steroid scandal (which eventually progressed to the 93 steroid trial) forced Hulk Hogan to take a leave of absence from the WWE. Hogan being gone was never good for business.

While grasping at straws , the  WWF  brought back a barely mobile Andre the Giant. The story was that the Earthquake wanted Andre to form a team with him. When the Giant said no, so Typhoon joined up with Earthquake and smashed Andre.

Enter the Bushwhackers, who for no real reason, other than to give someone for the newly christened Natural Disasters to squash, stepped up to defend the injured (and less than 6 months away from literal death) Andre The Giant. Luke and Butch barely tried and failed miserably. Andre was attacked by Earthquake as his great defenders lost and proceeded to get “more injured” before the Road Warriors made the save. Andre was never seen on WWF TV again.

What a great angle!

Andre is Not HAPPY

Andre is Not HAPPY

3. Winning the Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s Worst Tag Team Award…Twice

The Bushwhackers were never known to win really anything certainly not awards….or matches. By 1992, the Bushwhackers were basically used to put over heel tag teams. They suffered extremely logical losses to the Nasty Boys, Natural Disasters and others.

In 1992, they were also given the delightful award of the Wrestling Observer’s Worst Tag Team Award. Now, I rarely put weight in Dave Meltzer’s point of view, though his cockiness is funny to listen to, especially when up against Ole Anderson:

One thing is certain, Meltzer knows when wrestling is bad. Luke and Butch were awarded with yet another Worst Tag Team Award in 1994, the year of their second greatest accomplishment below…

It should be noted that three other Tag Teams also received Worst Tag Team award twice, Kronik, The Godwinns and Giant Baba & Andre The Giant. I still think that the Bushwhackers win the worst of this bunch as two of them are former tag champs and Baba and Andre were basically a team of crippled slow-moving older giants.

2. Clean sweep at the Survivor Series…as another character

In a match that can only be considered a poor attempt at comedy, Luke and Butch joined Men on a Mission to destroy the careers of Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastian Booger and the Headshrinkers. Both face teams dressed in Doink makeup in a match  which never actually involved the actual Doink the Clown. The 4 Doinks got a clean sweep on their foes and once again proved that WWE has never known what is funny.

The important point for the Bushwhackers is that they won! For the first time in years! A one day resurgence! Playing another character!

This is horrifying

This is horrifying

1. Getting into the WWE Hall of Fame

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The Bushwhackers number one accomplishment is getting into the WWE Hall of Fame. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. The WWE Hall of Fame is for winners, champions, and legends. It is there for those who blazed a trail, did something historic or had a lasting effect on the core of the Wrestling Fan.

I love wrestling. The Ultimate Warrior made me feel. Hulk Hogan made me excited. The Road Warriors were cool, etc etc. The Bushwhackers were characters on TV. That’s all. Not a Hall of Fame career

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Boo WWE. BOO!!!

 

Why 2015?

This years class looks likes they sat 9 people down in a room and each got to pick 1 inductee. Triple H picked Randy Savage. Stephanie picked the Warrior Award recipient, and John Laurinaitis picked the Bushwhackers. Why? Becauseo Johnny has a history with them in Australia that no one knew about….

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Oh and hey look, Johnny Ace is doing the induction.

You Suck Johnny....This is why no one likes you,

You Suck Johnny….This is why no one likes you,

Opens Door For?

Literally anybody. Let’s induct the Godwinns, Well Dunn, The Blu Brothers, The Young Stallions and the or even the Original Conquistadors!

conquistadors

80% of People Do Not Know Who We ARE

Reasons this shouldn’t have happened.

All reasons imaginable. The Bushwhackers ARE GARBAGE.

WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015: Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Travesty

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Arnold Schwarzenegger

Class of 2015: Celebrity Inductee

 The Governator, The Terminator

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Hall of Fame Ranking

2 out of 10

Undeserving

For any avid reader of this blog, my hatred of the Celebrity Wing of the WWE Hall of Fame is both well documented and volitile. I hate it. I think its stupid and represents all that’s wrong with the WWE. It puts celebrity, a loose term which means very little nowadays, over content and its own wrestlers. It happens all the time. Want an example? At Wrestlemania 25, Chris Jericho defeated three Hall of Famers (Jimmy Snuka, Roddy Piper and Ricky Steamboat) in a 3 on 1 elimination match. Jericho then destroyed Ric Flair (4th Hall of Famer) after the match. And who was the knight in shining armor to defeat the evil Jericho? Why Mickey Rourke.

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With one punch, Rourke vanquished Jericho and everyone was happy….Except me. Mickey Rourke’s participation made 16 time World Champion Ric Flair look like a chump. The powers that be in WWE (IE Vince McMahon) don’t care and love the celebrity participation.  I have to believe at this point that McMahon is convinced that a celebrity (regardless of who) legitimizes his life’s work. Why else would he do it?

Celebrities are a part of WWE, especially around Wrestlemania season. I just have to accept it and I do….kinda. Some are fine because like every other inductee, there are different levels of Celebrity inductee. Last year, we were finally given Mr. T….

And his Momma Speech

And his Momma Speech

Celebrity or not, Mr. T is an important part of WWE’s history.  He is the best example of the celebrity (in this case Mr T at his height of popularity) legitimizing wrestling. Without T, would Hulk Hogan and Wrestlemania 1 have been as big? I don’t think so. Mr. T belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame. So does Mike Tyson (ushering in Attitude Era), Cyndi Lauper (Rock’n Wrestling) and Andy Kaufman (only celebrity to really play a heel).

NOT WILLIAM PERRY!!!!

NOT WILLIAM PERRY!!!!

 

THATS IT!!!!! No one else. No other celebrity has ever had enough effect to become a Hall of Famer. What is a Hall of Famer? The cream of the crop, the best of the best. Is Arnold Schwarzenegger the best of the celebrities who have appeared in WWE?

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Let’s take a look at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s appearances with the WWE. He has appeared three times.

In 1999, during the height of the Attitude Era, Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on WWF Smackdown to accept a replica WWE Title. Schwarzenegger  was named  the “World Box Office Champion.”, a championship which was never defended nor ever mentioned again.  Later that evening, he helped The Rock and others defeat D-Generation X when he slid a steel chair to special enforcer Steve Austin, who then hit Triple H.  Following the bout, Triple H took a swing at Schwarzenegger, who ducked and terminated The Game with a series of vicious fists. What a Hall of fame moment!!!!

And that is it. That’s what Arnold Schwarzenegger did with the WWE. He accepted a fake championship and was never seen again until 2013, when he inducted Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

As my blood pressure grows over this induction, take a quick look at Arnold’s last appearance with the WWE, where he, Hulk Hogan and someone named Joe Manganiello beat up the Miz, once again proving that Celebrities are better than WWE superstars. Now, the best part of this appearance is it was a “guest host” spot to shill an upcoming movie. The movie, Sabotage, was seen by no one and cared about by only those in the ring and McMahon himself.

Can someone please explain to me how this above is a “Hall of Fame Career”. I spend my time on this site destroying guys who will never get in the Hall of Fame. Names like Ahmed Johnson or Dan Severn will never grace the Halls. But yet in comparison to Arnold Schwarzenegger, both deserve to headline multiple classes.

Even WWE.com, with their revisionist bullshit writing, struggles to defend why Arnold Schwarzenegger is in the Hall of Fame.

http://www.wwe.com/superstars/arnold-schwarzenegger

To summarize the above for those who hate reading, Arnold is friends with Bruno Sammartino and he and Jesse Ventura did movies together. Its good to know that all you have to do to get into the WWE Hall of Fame is be friends with people in the organization.

Since this was announced, I have been trying to figure out if this is the worst induction ever or not. By leaps and bounds, Drew Carey was the most embarrassing induction in history. His involvement was one match (the Royal Rumble no less) where he basically made fun of it, knowing nothing of the product, and was really there to shill some shitty show which didn’t last.

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Drew Carey doesn’t belong in the Hall, but at least he participated in a goddamn match!. Arnold received a belt for  just showing up. (Talk about participation awards). This induction has infuriated me so much, that I am defending Drew Carey. What has the world come to.

WWE can do and has done so much better.

Why 2015?

Its in California! And Arnold lives there! And he’s a super big name! Fuck the Celebrity Wing. Seriously.

To WWE, Vince McMahon, Triple H and anyone else involved:

howdareyou

Opens Door For?

Jeremy Piven, Snooki, Maria Menounus, William Shatner, Alex Trebek and any number of other undeserving candidates.

Now presenting Future Hall of Famer: Kevin Hart!

Now presenting Future Hall of Famer: Kevin Hart!

Reasons this shouldn’t have happened.

All of them. Pick any reason. Personally, I say the movie Sabotage. Have you seen this garbage? It makes the turds that WWE normally puts out look like diamonds.

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Old Arnold: Action Star!