Never Going in the WWE Hall of Fame: Marc Mero

markmero1

Marc Mero

Marvelous, “Boxer”, White Little Richard

mero1

There were a lot of bad gimmicks in the 1990s and even more bad wrestlers. In the WWF, 1993-1997 were mostly periods of characters who will never…..

EEEEEEEVER!

EEEEEEEVER!

….join the Hall of Fame. Its not that the wrestlers were even necessarily worse than those in the 1980s, many of whom were nothing to shake a stick at. Instead, the mid nineties had an identity crisis. They did not know what they were or what they wanted to be. In most cases, the same tropes and tried and true storylines of the 80s were continued, to lesser success

AMERICA!

AMERICA!

 

 

Midgets!

Midgets!

 

GAY?

GAY?

And that brings us to our man of the hour, Marc Mero aka Johnny B. Badd. WWF wasn’t the only organization throwing shit at a barn’s wall to see what stuck.  WCW, the former NWA, struggled through the late 80s, trying to be the alternative of the WWF juggernaut, before finally becoming a much worse version of the WWF around 1991-1993.  This was the time that gave us the wonderful GAY? superstar Johnny B. Badd.  Badd was a mixture of all the things that are wrong with professional wrestling. First, it was accidentally racist, as wrestling still is today.

Not racist?

Not racist?

You see, Marc Mero is a white man with olive skin tone. His character is an obvious lifting of Little Richard transposed in all its glory in the wrestling ring. Just like we always asking for.

This will be in your dreams....

This will be in your dreams….

On top of his oddly never mentioned blackness, Badd was also extremely flamboyant and over the top, a gimmick which worked for Adrian Steele and killed Adrian Adonis. (not literally)  And it kinda worked for Johnny B. Badd. He shot confetti, smiled and danced down the ring. For early 90s WCW, this gimmick at least had some shot of getting over….

And while Johnny was eventually toned down and did find some success as WCW Television Champion aka the title literally anyone can have, his tenure in WCW was mostly forgettable. His feuds read like a who’s who of who is that. Remember the glorious feud between Johnny and Maxx Payne?

Near the end of his WCW tenure, Badd’s toned down character had his greatest success with a series of matches with Diamond Dallas Page. Badd claimed Kimberly, the first of many wrestlers to steal DDP’s wife and get cheered for it.

bootyman

Seriously a worse choice than Johnny B. Badd

He even had a feud with Arn Anderson and the Four Horsemen, which is really a judgement on where the Horsemen were in 1996 than anything else. But all this prepared him for the big leagues (not really in 1996), when Mero debuted for the WWF.

WWF Mero was different. Firstly WWF realized very quickly that a gay blackman was a terrible character (this from the organization that gave us TL Hopper) for a white man and instead tried to make Johnny cool by calling him Wild Man Marc Mero. He even had pretty decent music…later stolen by his wife.

This promptly led to Mero winning his first and only intercontinental championship defeating the then punished HHH. His win was due in no short part to the injury which Ahmed Johnson sustained by being terrible.

Ahmed Likes That.

Ahmed Likes That.

Mero was the fill in.

What WWE didn’t realize at first and subsequently scrambled to fix is that Wild Man Marc Mero was neither interesting, nor a good wrestler. His spots were mostly average and his promos were wildly average. (see what I did there)

So, Mero did what any mediocre male wrestler who is kinda attractive does, he gets some eye candy. Enter Sable.

Sable is both the best and the worst thing to happen to Marc Mero. Mero, without Sable, probably would have faded into obscurity within a year of entering the federation. With Sable, it only took two years for him to fade into obscurity and he got to lose a match to her. Hot DANG! He literally spent more time being jealous of Sable of screen (also known as all about Sable) than he did being his own character. Oh and he lost to her…

Mero transitioned into the Marvelous Marc Mero persona, which if it existed today would be looked as an obvious punishment.( See Damien Sandow)  Heel Mero was even less dynamic than face Mero. He complained, danced around the ring like Muhammed Ali and still couldn’t wrestler. He had a “boxer” gimmick, due completely to Mero’s previous history as an amateur boxer and led no where fast and Mero faded out of the organization by 1999.

And that’s it. That is the career of Marc Mero. His career last less than 10 years professionally. And in it, his best work was as this character:

Gay?

Gay?

Some men are just better as characters, although its sad to say when this is someone’s best work

Now that’s a BADD Video.

Only Way it Happens

Mero, since his retirement has appeared on many news organizations talking about the dangers of steroids and giving his unwanted two cents about Chris Benoit.

However, he is also a supposed super positive guy and perhaps when WWE runs out of alive people, Mero could step in and cheer everyone up! He is after all, the Happiest Person on Earth. Huzzah!

Book_Cover_AA1

Is WWE Stupid enough to actually do it?

No, Happy or not, Mero is too small of a bit player and has burned all his bridges. He doesn’t exist as far as WWE is concerned. And thank god, as do we really need this image etched in the WWE Hall of Fame?

This will be in your dreams....

This will be in your dreams….

Chances of induction

2 out of 10

Advertisements

Never Going in the WWE Hall of Fame: Ahmed Johnson

ahmed-johnson

Ahmed Johnson

Pearl River Powerhouse; Has a Mouth Full of Marbles

ahmed6

 

Ahmed Johnson is the 1996 example of a green wrestler who was pushed too fast by Vince McMahon. He was big, and full of muscles…and pushed to the moon.

ahmedsmiles

Ahmed likes that.

Ahmed was not the first man pushed too quickly and he wasn’t the last. Wrestlers from Brakus in 1999 to Ryback today have all suffered from being given too much attention and too much responsibility for being…something they are not.

This is not to say that Ahmed could have had potential. There were positives in him. His look was strong and the fans seemed to support him in 1996. Within only a few months of his debut, Johnson won the IC title.

Ahmed Likes That.

Ahmed Likes That.

In 96, the IC belt was still held in high regard and Ahmed was  put in a key position, for a short period of time.  This is due to firstly, 1996 was a  transitional year. . WWE was languishing under the competition from WCW, backlash from the early 90s steroid trials and disinterest in the goofy product. Ahmed, due to his potential(ie big big muscle man) could have been successful IF he was given time to grow. He could have been the first African American WWE Champion.

Without the time to grow, Ahmed could never have been successful with what he was bringing to the table. Not only was he green. He was also dangerous, both to others and himself.

ahmedhurtseveryone

Ahmed Injures Everyone

Johnson’s only IC title reign ended in injury. The injury took Johnson off the table when it came to dependability. Vince & Co.is notorious for punishing and de-pushing superstars who get injured (Dolph Ziggler today)….Unless you name is Shawn Michaels…then its fine.

patterson_pat

Ahmed is injured.

 

What?! Unacceptable. Punish him when he returns

What?! Unacceptable. Punish him when he returns

 

You got it.

You got it.

Wait... Shawn is injured too!

Wait… Shawn is injured too!

 

President...hmmmm...a celebrity....YES!

OH NO! Is he okay!

patterson3

He got beat up in a bar

michaelscrying

It hurt.

Wait... Shawn is injured too!

Oh NO! Poor Baby!

mcmahon4

Give him as much time off as needed.

I also lost my smile...

I also lost my smile…

Wait... Shawn is injured too!

Poor Baby!

 

Wait...This is not Cool!

Wait…This is not Cool!

Shawn Michaels hate aside, there is a difference between “Oh Protected One” and Ahmed Johnson. Johnson lacked some basic skills necessary to be a great superstar. Those skills missing include promo cutting, wrestling ability and safety.

What's That?

How could someone be a wrestler without those basic skills?

 

Good question. Ahmed was dangerous. He hurt people. Repeatedly. And himself as well. Once you build a reputation for injuring your fellow wrestlers, your time in one of the main organizations is limited. Mr. Kennedy injured himself and others- Gone. D’Lo Brown injured Droz, depushed and gone. And Ahmed did this as well.

Ahmed Likes That.

Ahmed Likes That.

Wait...This is not Cool!

Wait…This is not Cool!

Yet Ahmed’s lack of success is due more to what he didn’t have more than what he did. Vader injured many wrestlers (including Foley’s infamous ear loss) yet he is not considered in the same boat. Why? Easy, Vader was stiff, not dangerous. Vader had the skill and knowledge to put on a great match in Japan, where it is impossible to be a sloppy wrestler.

Johnson was a worse version of the Ultimate Warrior. He wrestled that very obvious “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING” way.

CRAZY!

SCREAMING!

And yet, Warrior could talk. His promos while ridiculous were mesmerizing. Ahmed was even missing this puzzle; he couldn’t talk. His mouth; full of marbles.

It would great if the video above was an exception. Take a look at the youtube channel attached to this video. Fun with Ahmed is basically a series of Ahmed’s worst promos.

Ahmed’s time can be summarized easily by looking at his 1997. He feuded with Faarooq, joined Faarooq, and then feuded with him again…all to no conclusion. Ahmed was in the 98 Royal Rumble and then disappeared from the WWF during the beginning of the Attitude Era.

Shortly after Ahmed appeared in WCW, where he somehow repeated the exact same process. (I know WCW wasn’t good with ideas…but this is crazy)

Ahmed was named Big T, he feuded with Stevie Ray…

ahmedruns

 

Then joined him.

Then joined him.

And then disappeared. With his WCW departure, it was the end of Ahmed Johnson’s career.

Today, Ahmed Johnson can be found impersonating Viscera/Big Daddy V at local conventions.

Ahmed Likes That.

Ahmed Likes That.

Only Way it Happens

WWE is known for trying to keep their Hall of Fame classes diverse. This has led to the inductions of Koko B. Ware and Tony Atlas. If WWE never employs anyone ethnic and they induct all the other African American stars, Ahmed has a chance…. in 2056.

Is WWE Stupid enough to actually do it?

No. He was barely a blip on the radar of wrestling. Ahmed…. who?

Chances of induction

2 out of 10

Never Going in the WWE Hall of Fame: Jeff Jarrett

jarrett

Jeff Jarrett

Double J, Co-Founder of TNA

jarrett2

 

Vince McMahon hates Jeff Jarrett. As his first act as owner of WCW, McMahon fired Jeff on live television “in character”. Jarrett hadn’t even appeared on the show. This was no angle. McMahon hates Jeff Jarrett.


Across history, Vince McMahon has hated many superstars or been hated by many. Hulk Hogan and Vince don’t get along. Bret Hart stayed away for over ten years.Ultimate Warrior and Jake Roberts both returned after demanding up front payments to perform at large events and still came back. Jeff Jarrett is different.

Yes, he did do exactly what Warrior did. He required massive amounts of money to go on. Jarrett’s contract expired before No Mercy 99, and he refused to go on with a one time payment of 300,000. Which is 1999 is close to one million dollars. A hefty sum.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xyq68h_no-mercy-1999-chyna-vs-jarrett-elgeel3_sport#.UW4MgLWceSo

Yet all this aside, Jarrett exists on his own plane of existence in WWE land. He both has done the greatest offense and is unable to do something very important.

tensaidancing

Dance!

Actually, Jarrett is not a draw. Not in WWE land. Jeff Jarrett can talk, can wrestle well enough and has the ego of Hulk Hogan or Triple H to boot. His ego makes Shane Douglas look adjusted and kind.

Jarrett is a man who is comparable to Vince McMahon in how good he thinks he is. Jarrett’s “worked shoot” in 1998 was brutal and spoke volumes to Jarrett’s dislike of the “system” that pro wrestling came to. He was the voice for the old school. His father Jerry Jarrett never went out of business. Memphis reigned on only in Memphis. And that’s where Jeff Jarrett began.

But he couldn’t stay there and he knew it. In stand-up comedy, we have an expression, “Doesn’t matter if your the best comic in Cleveland, your in Cleveland.” Jarrett moved in 1994 from regional USWA because he knew the WWF was more opportunity.

And his first run was a nightmare. He sadly came in during cartoon character profession days in the 1990s and got saddled with country music singer. Because everyone from Memphis is a country music star.

sarcasm-sign

Jarrett did as well as could be expected and succeeded with IC titles due to his in ring ability and probably some agreement from the get go. Jerry Lawler had Jarrett’s back and he was marginally successful.

And he did this song.

And had a Roadie.

Jarrett quit. He quit because he realized WWF in 1996 was a sinking ship. And he didn’t like his push. Yet, we can all admit, Jeff Jarrett doesn’t fit the mold. He is not a WWE main eventer. Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Brock Lesnar and John Cena all fit a mold. A big, larger than life mastadon. They were all the hand picked. All from the moment of their entry into the organization were groomed for success. Yes, sometimes when necessary, the WWE will push someone else or even throw the company behind a small guy. (Austin, Hart, Michaels). But historically, Jeff Jarrett had a lot going against him to be where he wanted.

Leaving for WCW the first time did nothing for Jeff’s career. He was promised the world by Eric Bischoff and received almost nothing. He was part of the Four Horsemen in 1996, back when everyone was.

mcmichael

Yup. Mongo.

The infamous shoot above came after that delightful run for Jarrett. He returned and floundered again. He was the forefront of the extremely unsuccessful NWA invasion of WWF in 1998. (Which also gave us fellow Never Going To be A Famer, Dan Severn) and was highlights by Jarrett losing to women and mid card titles.

Jarrett was never going to get pushed and he finally realized that through his friend and ally Vince Russo. Russo began to use Jarrett, gave him the titles he could and when Russo left, so did Jarrett.

Its funny to think that Jeff Jarrett is a multi-time WCW World Champion. He beat many top WCW stars. All because of Vince Russo. That’s because Russo and Jarrett’s friendship is also mostly a business agreement. Jarrett made friends with the right guy. He was a good politician. (The Kliq liked him, which tells you something.)

He didn’t make Shawn cry

Despite WWE owning the WCW library and legacy, Jarrett isn’t somebody they are going to push in any way shape or form. Vince doesn’t need Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett thought he was hot stuff. Vince McMahon didn’t agree. So Jarrett convinced his dad to help him buy and run TNA, which still exists today under different management.

dixie

HI I’m Dixie, I own a wrestling thing. My dad bought it for me.

That is Jeff Jarrett’s legacy. He should be in the TNA Hall of Fame for sure and probably will be if they ever do that ceremony again. Yet, when it comes to WWE, Jarrett is persona non grata.

Only Way it Happens

Vince McMahon dies and the company in inherited by Vince Russo due to a loophole.

Del Rio vs. Swagger-Chipotle on a pole match- Book it!

Del Rio vs. Swagger-Chipotle on a pole match- Book it!

Is WWE Stupid enough to actually do it?

No. Vince McMahon hates Jeff Jarrett and Jeff Jarrett isn’t Bruno Sammartino. Any headliner who would make WWE money will eventually come back. Warrior, Savage, Sammartino, Owen Hart, Roberts, Bundy, Rude. All these men will eventually be in the Hall.

Chances of induction

1 out of 10